September 24 - Word Choice
English 9/24/13
Warm-Up
Using your 6+1 Traits Rubric, evaluate the following essay entitled "At Age 13" for its use of Voice. Does it score as a 5, 3, or 1? You must choose a score and justify your answer by citing a quote from the text and/or the rubric. Please write your answer on today's worksheet.
Warm-Up
Using your 6+1 Traits Rubric, evaluate the following essay entitled "At Age 13" for its use of Voice. Does it score as a 5, 3, or 1? You must choose a score and justify your answer by citing a quote from the text and/or the rubric. Please write your answer on today's worksheet.
At the young age of 13, I participated on a dance team called Dance Force. Our main purpose was to compete against other teams, and once a year, we would go to a convention named L.A. Danceforce. Each time we went, it was held in the same place; the Red Lion Hotel in Bellevue. Our instructor would place us in different workshops depending on our ability, and in those lasses we would learn new types of dances that we could bring back to our teams. We learned many lyrical, hip-hop, funky, drill, and ballet routines.
At the end of the week, anybody who wanted to had the chance to sign up and try out to win a 2-week scholarship to a dance studio in Los Angeles. I signed up along with a myriad of other people from many different teams, just so I could have the experience. We then were divided up into smaller groups and were taught a routine about 4-8 counts long. We performed it in front of the judges and were told we would find out who won the scholarship during the awards ceremony later that night. The anticipation was the most fun. The feeling of "Did I perform to my fullest?" was racing around in my head like bees outside their hive. I was proud of myself that I had tried something new. It would not have really mattered if I had not won, for I did not expect to. I knew I had done my best. While at the ceremony, I honestly do not recall them calling my name. The other dances on my team were screaming so loud, which was probably why. I could not fathom that I had actually won! The pride I felt at that moment still has never been topped. Unfortunately, I never made it down to Los Angeles, but what a compliment it was to know I was good enough. I still continue to dance because of that day. |
Today we will be studying Word Choice, which is the fourth of our 6+1 Traits of Good Writing. According to our 6+1 Traits Rubric, to score a 5 in Word Choice, your essay must follow each of the following characteristics:
Let's read the next essay entitled "If There Happened To Be" and score it for its use of Word Choice ONLY. Does it score as a 5, 3, or 1? Use your 6+1 Traits rubric. You must choose a score and justify your answer by citing a quote from the text and/or the rubric. Please write your answer on today's worksheet.
- Words are specific and accurate.
- Striking words and phrases are used.
- Language is natural, effective, and appropriate.
- You use lively verbs (avoid forms of to be), specific nouns, and modifiers (adjectives and adverbs).
- Language enhances and clarifies the meaning of the writing.
- Precision is obvious.
Let's read the next essay entitled "If There Happened To Be" and score it for its use of Word Choice ONLY. Does it score as a 5, 3, or 1? Use your 6+1 Traits rubric. You must choose a score and justify your answer by citing a quote from the text and/or the rubric. Please write your answer on today's worksheet.
If there happened to be one thing in this land to change, I would probably change the confusing, weird rules and properties of algebra. I have many arguments in favor of this movement.
Sit back and take a look at yourself in junior high, struggling to grasp just WHAT the commutative property actually is and what the whole point of having it was. Personally, I wish I did know what the basic principles of the commutative property are. There are hundreds of other queer and mystifying rules that apply to algebra and appear to make no sense what-so-ever. For instance, if a negative number plus a negative number makes a positive number, what do two negative numbers plus a positive number make? I believe that a group of scientists should get together and come up with and unveil a much simpler number system. This mathematics plan would have nothing like 2a + 7 = 36. What is "a"? Keep mathematics simple! If I were in charge of inventing a new number system, I would eliminate negative integers and take out material like finding what x, y, z, and b are in an equation eight inches long. Who ever heard of ordering 7x yards of plywood on -3 two-by-fours? My conclusion is to abolish all properties that only three percent of the population are able to understand. Algebra? It's for the birds! I wish I could wring the neck of that despicable individual who invented it. Say "See ya!" to algebra and the world will be free of crying students because they didn't know what the heck they were learning. |
Let's try this again! Read the next essay entitled "Should High School Students Work?" and score it for its use of Word Choice ONLY. Does it score as a 5, 3, or 1? Use your 6+1 Traits rubric. You must choose a score and justify your answer by citing a quote from the text and/or the rubric. Please write your answer on today's worksheet.
I feel that kids need jobs after school to an extent. I think that it should be a requirement that if you are not in an after-school activity, such as sports, dance team, or flag time. This would help them out in several different ways. Also, they would have no time for magnanimous. One way this would help their physical condition while they're learning something new and different. The requirements that colleges are looking for which subsequently makes the college application jump out with effloresce. Then, who can give you a scholarship won't feel remorse for the people he had to turn down. For the females, college is something to do after high school so they don't get into harlotry. Then the girls won't feel ignominious when they come home and their parents ask how it was. Students can come back from college and feel no irreproachment.
If, during high school, they get somnolent or sick this would be the only time they could go home without work or practice. Most people find that they would write poetry. This means they go to college to be a sonneteer. Some could be a marine biologist and study Spinose fish or fish with spines. All in all, I think students should look to the future. |
One last time! Read the next essay entitled "6th Grade" and score it for its use of Word Choice ONLY. Does it score as a 5, 3, or 1? Use your 6+1 Traits rubric. You must choose a score and justify your answer by citing a quote from the text and/or the rubric. Please write your answer on today's worksheet.
When I was in sixth grade, I got into this club and it was very fun and stuff but sometimes I got into trouble. And then I got a situation and I even got detention and stuff and I had to come in on noon recess just to have detention. And then I was right back in detention again just for pushing a duty teacher and she got real mad but my friends all laughed and said your cool and they even said your a real dude. And that was that. So then I had to go to school, at Happy Acres, and I was in seventh grade, and I had to have this one teacher. And after that I never got into much trouble at Happy Acres. But I did get into trouble at my other school, like I did at my other school, but I didn't even get detention again. So I wish I was back at my other school.
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In-Class Assignment
Wow! That was a lot of practice analyzing word choice! Now it is time for you to show me what you've learned about making striking, sharp, and precise word choice decisions. Your assignment today is to create a Thesaurus Poem.
Sometimes we feel so strongly about something that we may need more than one way to state it. For instance, August in Florida is hot. But it isn't just hot; it is stifling, sweltering, smothering, intense, burn-your-face off because I'm covered in sweat HOT!!!
A stronger feeling about a particular situation can be created by using similar words for emphasis, as in the example above. Rather than just stating that the weather is hot in Florida, you have used a variety of synonyms to express just exactly how hot it is in Florida.
Today, you will use a thesaurus to choose your own word and write a mini-poem using the list of synonyms to inspire you. Your poem must be at least seven sentences and each sentence must begin with a different word from your list of synonyms.
First, choose a word in the thesaurus and list at least six of its synonyms. You should have a list of seven words. For example:
Wow! That was a lot of practice analyzing word choice! Now it is time for you to show me what you've learned about making striking, sharp, and precise word choice decisions. Your assignment today is to create a Thesaurus Poem.
Sometimes we feel so strongly about something that we may need more than one way to state it. For instance, August in Florida is hot. But it isn't just hot; it is stifling, sweltering, smothering, intense, burn-your-face off because I'm covered in sweat HOT!!!
A stronger feeling about a particular situation can be created by using similar words for emphasis, as in the example above. Rather than just stating that the weather is hot in Florida, you have used a variety of synonyms to express just exactly how hot it is in Florida.
Today, you will use a thesaurus to choose your own word and write a mini-poem using the list of synonyms to inspire you. Your poem must be at least seven sentences and each sentence must begin with a different word from your list of synonyms.
First, choose a word in the thesaurus and list at least six of its synonyms. You should have a list of seven words. For example:
1. Angry
2. Annoyed 3. Irritated 4. Fuming 5. Livid 6. Irate 7. Frustrated |
1. Happy
2. Content 3. Pleased 4. Joyful 5. Glad 6. Thrilled 7. Exuberant |
1. Sad
2. Gloomy 3. Miserable 4. Depressed 5. Distressed 6. Dejected 7. Upset |
1. Tired
2. Weary 3. Exhausted 4. Drained 5. Worn-out 6. Fatigued 7. Sleepy |
1. Alarmed
2. Scared 3. Afraid 4. Frightened 5. Petrified 6. Terrified 7. Anxious |
You may choose one of the lists above to use in your Thesaurus Poem or you may create a list of your own using a Thesaurus in our classroom or a Thesaurus online. Your poem will be seven lines long and each line of your poem must start with one of your synonyms. For example, if you chose the last list, you could end up with a poem like this:
Alarmed by the passage of time, I am sometimes
Scared of what the future may hold. Afraid of loss. Frightened by pain and Petrified of being alone. Terrified of the thought of losing my illusion of control, yet Anxious for tomorrow to come. |
Reminders:
- Make sure your Thesaurus Poem has an ongoing topic or theme.
- Make sure you make strong word choices THROUGHOUT your poem, not just in the first word of each line.
- Turn in your completed class worksheet with a complete Thesaurus Poem to Miss Shaffer to receive full credit for your assignments today.
- If you do not finish during class, you must complete the poem for homework and turn it in at the beginning of class on Wednesday, September 25.