September 25 - Word Choice
English - 9/25/13 - Word Choice
Warm-Up:
Using your 6+1 Traits Rubric, score the essay below for its use of Word Choice. Does it score as a 5, 3, or a 1? Explain your answer on your worksheet. Your response must be three sentences long and must include at least one direct quote from the essay and/or your 6+1 rubric.
Warm-Up:
Using your 6+1 Traits Rubric, score the essay below for its use of Word Choice. Does it score as a 5, 3, or a 1? Explain your answer on your worksheet. Your response must be three sentences long and must include at least one direct quote from the essay and/or your 6+1 rubric.
"When I was in Elementary School"
This is when I was in elementary school. I had a teacher name Mr. Hal; he would never let me get off task. If I did get off task, he would yell at me. At recess time he would get a group of kids together. He would pick teams and play softball. He would really make us play hard as we can. He taught us how to make model hydroplanes and would go to a lake for a couple of hours and if you built yours right, it would have no reason to sink. He was a teacher and a model. He would show us some of the photos he took. |
This essay could definitely use some work! Let's help this writer out and rewrite the above essay with stronger word choices. You may use a classroom thesaurus to help you use a variety of different words. Remember, word choice should be specific and clarify the meaning! Use adverbs and adjectives to modify all of the nouns, pronouns, adjectives, verbs, and adverbs in the essay. Please circle all of your STRONG word choices in your rewritten response.
For an extra challenge, you may also focus on incorporating Voice into your rewritten essay. How does the writer feel? What are his or her thoughts during each situation?
In-Class Assignment: Senses Poem
For an extra challenge, you may also focus on incorporating Voice into your rewritten essay. How does the writer feel? What are his or her thoughts during each situation?
In-Class Assignment: Senses Poem
- Start with a feeling or emotion.
- Use the five senses to describe the way the emotion looks, sounds, feels, tastes, and smells.
- Sample emotions: confusion, uncomfortable, anger, hatred, adoration, love, depression, etc...
- Example Poems:
Frustration
It looks like the rain on my window during spring break.
It has the smell of the chocolate cake that is for the company.
The sound of the buzzing mosquito near my pillow
It feels like the itchy wool of my new Christmas sweater
It's the candy on the outside of the bubble gum-centered lollipop
Joy
The scent of Orange Blossoms filling my backyard
A frozen popsicle in July
My bedroom slippers after a long day
My daughter's laughter
The soft clouds drifting through my Saturday afternoon
It looks like the rain on my window during spring break.
It has the smell of the chocolate cake that is for the company.
The sound of the buzzing mosquito near my pillow
It feels like the itchy wool of my new Christmas sweater
It's the candy on the outside of the bubble gum-centered lollipop
Joy
The scent of Orange Blossoms filling my backyard
A frozen popsicle in July
My bedroom slippers after a long day
My daughter's laughter
The soft clouds drifting through my Saturday afternoon
In-Class Assignment: Autobiography Poem
Please follow the directions exactly as they appear below. Your poem will be at least seven lines long.
- Your first and middle name
- Sister/brother/mother/father/daughter/son of _______
- Lover of _______ (4 phrases)
- Who fears ______ (4 phrases)
- Who dreams _______ (4 phrases)
- Whose epitaph would read _______ (1 phrase)
- Your last name
Example:
Andrea Rae
Mother of Sokka
Lover of cuddly kittens, warmth and coziness, curling up with a book, and a life worth living.
Who fears an unanticipated death, slimy creepy crawlies, a long love lost, and sinking into the deep abyss.
Who dreams of a fated marriage, a glorious homecoming, creating a memory worthwhile, and the gorgeous landscape of Japan.
Whose epitaph would read "She gave life her all."
Shaffer