September 26 - Sentence Fluency
English 9/26/13
We have finally made it to the fifth of our 6+1 Traits of Good Writing! According to your 6+1 Traits Rubric, to score a 5 in Sentence Fluency, your writing must follow each of the following characteristics:
To score a 3, in Sentence Fluency, your writing will adhere to the following characteristics:
If your Sentence Fluency is poor, you will score a 1. Your writing will have the following characteristics:
Essay Evaluation
Let's analyze the following essays for their use of Sentence Fluency so that you become familiar with great writing, good writing, and poor writing.
We have finally made it to the fifth of our 6+1 Traits of Good Writing! According to your 6+1 Traits Rubric, to score a 5 in Sentence Fluency, your writing must follow each of the following characteristics:
- The writing has an easy flow, rhythm, and cadence.
- Sentences are well built.
- Sentences enhance the meaning.
- Sentences vary in length as well as structure.
- Purposeful and varied sentence beginnings.
- Creative and appropriate connectives.
To score a 3, in Sentence Fluency, your writing will adhere to the following characteristics:
- The text hums along with a steady beat, but tends to be more pleasant or businesslike than musical.
- Sentences get the job done in a routine fashion.
- Sentences are usually constructed correctly.
- Sentence beginnings are not ALL alike; some variety is attempted.
- The reader has to hunt for clues.
- Parts of the text invite expressive oral reading; others may be stiff, awkward, choppy, or gangly.
If your Sentence Fluency is poor, you will score a 1. Your writing will have the following characteristics:
- The reader has to practice quite a bit in order to give this paper a fair interpretive reading.
- Sentences are choppy, incomplete, rambling, or awkward. Phrasing does not sound natural.
- No "sentence sense" is present.
- Sentences begin the same way.
- Endless connectives.
- Does not invite expressive oral reading.
Essay Evaluation
Let's analyze the following essays for their use of Sentence Fluency so that you become familiar with great writing, good writing, and poor writing.
Essay #1: The Fish
There are many events that I will want to remember when I am eighty. I have made great catches in the outfield, pulled pranks, done well on tests, told a great joke, and too many other things to name. It would be downright foolish to talk about them all, so I have chosen just one. Catching the first fish on my first fly rod is something that I never want to forget. On August 4, 2005, my dad gave me a Cortland 8 foot, 3-ounce graphite fly-fishing rod. I had been fishing with him twice before and I had enjoyed the trips, so when he planned to go fly fishing on the Upper Skagit River later that month, I was all for it. Before I knew it, the time to go fishing had arrived. The two of us climbed into Dad's mustard-yellow 1976 Toyota pickup with an AM-only radio, and we drove for the border. We stayed in a filthy, musty-smelling motel with an ice-cold swimming pool just outside of Hope, British Columbia. The conditions, while lacking, didn't matter; we were going fishing the next day. To get to the best fishing spots on the Skagit, one had to brave a 35-mile long dirt road. An hour later, we reached the spot that was to be the beginning of our trek. I got out of the truck, took my shoes off, and began to don my gear. Dad helped me in readying my rod, but I put the reel on and tied the fly all by myself. Last, we got an inflated rubber raft out of the back and carried it down an embankment to the river, trying not to slip on the wet rocks. Now it was time to fish. I remember stepping into the river and feeling the swift current. I remember touching the cold, pure, crystal-clear water. Most of all, however, I remember smelling the cottonwood trees of autumn. I took a good grip on my rod and started to cast. The fly hit the water about twenty feet from where I was standing, and it had barely cleared some overhanging trees from shore. As I watched the fly sink and start to flow downriver, I started to retrieve. Bzzzz! My reel took off and my rod jumped in my hands. Could it really be a fish? A fish on my first cast? Instantly, I started to reel in. Yes! It was a fish! I reeled in and netted my own beautiful, shiny, rainbow trout! I was proud and wanted to remember that moment forever. Of course, I didn't catch another fish for five hours but I didn't real care much. For a novice angler like me, two fish in a day wasn't bad. In fact, I think that one cast has made me a fly fisherman for life. |
Using your 6+1 Traits Rubric, score the essay "The Fish" for its use of Sentence Fluency. Does it score as a 5, 3, or a 1? Explain your answer on your worksheet. Your response MUST be three sentences long and must include at least one direct quote from the essay and/or your 6+1 rubric.
Essay #2 A Better Life
Female has better life in the 2000s because old days. Woman can't do what man can do. Woman can vote also she can't do job outside home. She has to stay home. Take care her children and also her husband, but now days female has a lot of opportunity. Now they can work outside their homes and also they take care of their children and husband. Woman now vote, they have more opportunity that they didn't have before. Now there are females who hold top positions like Prime Ministers, lawyers, President. There are women in the military, too. |
Using your 6+1 Traits Rubric, score essay #2, "A Better Life" for its use of Sentence Fluency. Does it score as a 5, 3, or a 1? Explain your answer on your worksheet. Your response MUST be three sentences long and must include at least one direct quote from the essay and/or your 6+1 rubric.
Essay #3: "The Girl Who Wanted a Horse"
"I wish I had a horse," moaned Stacy. She always loved horses, but she didn't have the money for one and she didn't know her parents had the money. She loved jumping and riding on a horse because it was graceful and peaceful. Stacy is a sixteen-year-old girl with a lot of friends. Every time she sees her friends riding, she always asks, "Can I ride with you, please?" They normally say, "Yes, you can ride with us." She was horse crazy! Her room was filled to the top with horse things. She had pictures, shirts, stickers, and her favorite item, a horse blanket. She took it everywhere, especially on trips. Stacy's birthday was the next day and she was very happy. At 3:00, her friends arrived for a sleepover party. "Time for presents!" exclaimed her mom. Her mom handed her the first present. Stacy knew that the first present wasn't a horse by the size of the box. Each time she opened a present and it was not a horse, her heart fell like a speeding arrow. Now all she found was a letter. The letter said, "Go outside and you will find your last present." She went outside and found a black horse staring at her. "Thank you so much. He is perfect," said Stacy happily. |